Breastfeeding Week: My Two Cents (because I know you’re all dying to hear it)
Posted on | August 5, 2011 | 11 Comments
This week has been the International Breastfeeding Week. Since I am in the thick of breastfeeding a newborn, I thought it might be fitting to add my little two cents to the whole thing.
I’m embarrassed to admit this…I don’t love breastfeeding. I don’t feel warm and fuzzy every time I do it. Yes, sometimes when Arlo puts his little hand on me and makes sweet kitten noises, and when he has a little milk mustache, and when he gives a sleepy (albeit gassy) smile, I feel the flutters. But I don’t adore my time breastfeeding. I get bored. I leak everywhere. More often than not, I have to change Arlo and myself after a nursing session. I get tired of feeding, burping, rocking for an hour and having to do it all over again in another hour or two. Sometimes I wish I could hand off a boob to the hubs and let him nurse for awhile. When I weaned Sully? I never felt any sadness or regret. Guilt? Yes. But that was self-induced. Regret? Absolutely not. I was so done.
But. And a big BUT this is, I am so grateful for this time. I feel extremely fortunate to have an easy time breastfeeding. Arlo took to it like a champ. I can nurse and still pump an extra six ounces or so to stash in the freezer for a rainy day. When I pick up my little chunky baby, I feel proud to know that I have created all this fat and squishy-ness on his sweet self. I am so thankful I have dodged sore nipples and low supply problems. I thank God for being able to feed my baby in the best way (for us) and the most inexpensive way possible. When I walk through the baby aisle in the grocery store, I am so glad I don’t have to pick up a $20.00 can of formula. I know how lucky I am. I know so many mamas have a hard time with breastfeeding, and my heart goes out to them.
I hate “Breast is Best.” Because it’s not true for everyone, and it undermines people who are trying to help mommies feel good about breastfeeding. Sometimes it doesn’t work for mommy and baby. Sometimes? Breast isn’t best for sanity or nutrition. But, no one can argue that Breast is Normal. When I see another mommy breastfeeding in public, I want to walk up to her and fist bump her because there is nothing more NORMAL and NATURAL than a breastfeeding mommy and her nursling.
I’ve made a conscious effort to get a few pictures of me breastfeeding Arlo, this time. With Sully, I have none. None. And it makes me so sad that I have nothing that documents those six months I spent nurishing my first born. As tiresome as I feel breastfeeding can be, I still think it is a beautiful thing, and I wish I had saved some of those moments. I don’t understand people who are offended by a breastfeeding mama. It astounds me that it is mainly women who proclaim that a breastfeeding mother is being “inappropriate” and “gross.” Really? People say they don’t want their husbands seeing another woman’s breast (are you that insecure that you fear your husband is going to run off because he caught a peek at a nursing mother’s boobie?). Or they say their sons shouldn’t see it. Why? Their sons shouldn’t see the normal way of a baby is fed? I hope my sons grow up knowing what breastfeeding is. I hope they never view it as something inappropriate or gross. And I sure as hell hope that someday, if their wives want to breastfeed, they support them in every way possible.
So my ultimate message? Breast is normal. I hope we can all embrace it without making other mommies feel guilty if they can’t breastfeed. Normal isn’t always best. But normal is natural.
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11 Responses to “Breastfeeding Week: My Two Cents (because I know you’re all dying to hear it)”
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August 5th, 2011 @ 4:10 pm
I had so much trouble breastfeeding, and so much guilt when I quit. You are so right – it’s not best for everyone, but it is SO natural! If I am blessed with a #2, I will definitely try breastfeeding again. I just won’t let myself feel guilty if it doesn’t work again.
August 5th, 2011 @ 4:38 pm
Great post. I wanted to breastfeed my son so badly but my supply never fully came in. 18 months later I still feel like my body let him down. I hated that I had to give him formula when I felt like I should have been able to provide for him the natural way. Yes, he is a healthy and happy little boy, but the disappointment of not being able to nurse will never leave my mind. Thank you for not making those who cannot or choose not to breastfeed feel inferior. Those mamas who are able to nurse will NEVER understand what it feels like to not have that opportunity. I am glad you are able to do so and that Arlo took to it so easily!
August 5th, 2011 @ 4:46 pm
I had a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding Gracie (my littlest)… she constantly wanted the boob until she hit about 4 months old. She decided she no longer wanted the boob and my supply absolutely tanked when she went on strike. I was sad when she stopped breastfeeding because that was our time together. I was completely uneducated about breastfeeding when I had Noah (my biggest). I remember Zack came home from work for lunch right after his 10 days of leave, and I asked him why my tatas hurt so bad. His reaction was priceless and then he said “Look at them, they are HUGE.” and then he proceded to educate me on breastfeeding while he ate his lunch.
Next baby, I’m hoping won’t decide at 4 months old she/he no longer wants the breast milk.
August 5th, 2011 @ 4:48 pm
its funny – i dont have any of me nursing johnny either. so ive made a point to get some with joey, because i do love it
i dont get warm fuzzies every time or anything either, and i often wish i’d grabbed a book before sitting down, but its a special time you can never get back and something only i can do for my littles.
plus, who doesn’t love a good oxytocin buzz :-p
August 5th, 2011 @ 5:54 pm
I agree on all counts!
I don’t love breastfeeding. But I’ve stuck it out- 1 year for each kid.
I don’t have any pics with my first and made sure to get some with my second.
I believe that breast milk is the best nutrition for a baby, but that doesn’t mean that breast is best for the mother or the family. Parenting is hard; the fewer things to feel guilty about the better!
August 5th, 2011 @ 9:08 pm
Great post! I was only able to breastfeed for 6 weeks before issues started to arise.
It is natural and a beautiful thing! I sure do hope I can make it longer with my next baby!
August 6th, 2011 @ 10:21 am
So nice to hear a fellow breastfeeding mama NOT trying to shove it down everyone else’s throat. I agree, sometimes it just doesn’t work for everyone and no one should be made to feel less of a parent for that.
Nor should any nursing mother feel ashamed to nurse in public because of the ignorance of some people who find it “gross”.
Beautiful picture too!
August 6th, 2011 @ 10:28 pm
That’s a beautiful picture of you and Arlo. I don’t have any of me and my first either, I’m going to try to get one of me and baby #2.
August 8th, 2011 @ 12:40 am
I love this post. I don’t think anyone can argue that breastfeeding is the most natural way to feed a baby. We were made to do it that way. But if you are not able to breastfeed physically or emotionally you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. You are not harming your baby by formula feeding. I breastfeed my babies because I honestly think it is easier. I don’t have the energy to prepare and clean bottles. My best friend has chosen to formula feed and she is a great mommy. I do think that no matter how you choose to feed your baby there are some tips we can take from breastfeeding (since it is the most natural). For example, hold your baby when you feed them, skin to skin if you can especially when they are little. Also, it is important for mommy and daddy to feed the baby most of the time, babies need that bonding time and so do we. I breastfed my first for a year and am now nursing my second (2 months old). I love it but realize that it is not for everyone. We should support other moms in their decisions. They love their babies as much as we love ours and they are doing what is right for their family.
August 10th, 2011 @ 11:30 pm
I read this on my phone earlier but I wanted to tell you a.) you are doing amazing b.) I totally did not always have warm fuzzy feelings towards breastfeeding either. That came at least after 5-6 months. I love the phrase Breast is Normal because it is. Breast is best sounds like they are two comparable options. What I think is breast is normal and formula is a good alternative if for whatever reason breastfeeding isn’t possible. Anyway, hang in there, I know it’s hard now, but IT WILL GET EASIER. Please email me if you have any BFing questions- I have a copy of a LLL leader book
LOVE the pic! Be sure to take more! I have only recently started taking bfing pics and I wish I had more than just the hospital pic.
August 15th, 2011 @ 8:55 pm
great post! I was a mama who tried and tried and tried and my milk just never came in. I never knew the feeling of leaking, or milk letting down, or anything like that. It makes me horribly sad
I pray with the next baby that my milk will come in. Thank you for your post because I have felt before that I’m being looked down on for not breastfeeding (before they know the reason) but I fully support it! I work at a eco friendly consignment store and we have a sign out front that says we are breastfeeding friendly. 