Posted on | October 6, 2011 | 11 Comments
The last thing I wanted to do this morning was get out of bed.
I know. That sounds horrible, right? I don’t mean it to. It’s just that, I had bad dreams all night (most of which involved Taylor and I being “broken up” like we were dating? And then realizing that my red hair had turned bright orange a la Carrot Top and DUH! That’s why he broke up with me!). And I knew that when I got out of bed, my “bad day” would begin. What a horrible way to face a day…to know it’s going to be “bad” from the beginning. I can be a cynic like that, and let’s be real, it doesn’t benefit anyone when I face a day with that attitude.
So anyway, I pulled my ass out of bed, fed Arlo, pumped, got Sully fed and changed, put Arlo down for a nap, got him BACK up, changed both boys again, fed Arlo again, and loaded us all up into the car for a trip to the doctor. All by 9:00AM. Today was Arlo’s two month well-baby visit, and Sully had to come with us. Taylor had some training to do today, which meant single parenting for me. I spent the whole ride to the doctor trying to decide how exactly I was going to manage. Was I going to load up all the babies into one stroller? Or wear Arlo? Or just keep Arlo in the infant seat and have Sully walk? What in the world would work? And how would I keep the doctor’s office patrons from thinking I was a horrible mother by allowing my toddler to run mad and my newborn to scream his little head off (yes, I ended this sentence with a preposition. I tried to re-word it, but I like that way this sounds. I never called myself a grammer goddess).
When we arrived, I pulled out my single stroller and my Maya Wrap, sucked it up, loaded both boys, and headed in with a brave face.
Two hours and six shots later, we left. All of us in one piece. Everyone still alive, and all tears wiped dry.
We had forgotten (I had forgotten) that Sully still had some shots to catch up on that he couldn’t get while I was pregnant, so I went ahead and squeezed him in to keep him up-to-date while we were there. The nurse suggested that I may not want two babies sad from shots in the same day, but I kindly reminded her that tears and crabbiness were nothing compared to having to load everyone else up and trying to get back to the doctor again. So both boys had shots today. Lovely.
But you know what? I did it. And? It wasn’t that bad. Sure, I left on the verge of tears because both boys were screaming, all snacks and bribes had been used up, and my boobs were shooting out milk like two water guns in response to all the chaos. BUT, I did it. I did it all alone, and I never would have even considered taking two kids under two to get shots at the same damn time before today.
That’s the crazy thing about motherhood. People complain that you lose sight of yourself when you have babies. And, I guess that is kind of true. I went from talking about beer pong and local bands pre-baby to talking about poop and spit up post-baby. My thoughts are often consumed by my sons and what they need. My finances go almost entirely towards my children and our household, and there is very little left over for me at the end of the day.
But it’s moments like these, where I tackle a task head on that previously would have made me want to vomit in my shoes, and where I succeed, that make me realize all over again how empowering motherhood can be. It pushes you beyond your boundaries, makes you pull your head out of your ass and consider someone(s) else for once, and it changes you in ways that are indescribable and life altering.
And yes, even an innocent trip to the doctor can be life altering when it makes you take on more than you thought you could and push through it despite not believing you are capable.
Today, I was Super Mom. I may even scrub the bathrooms and finish the laundry!
Or maybe not.