Surprising Empowerment.
Posted on | October 6, 2011 | 11 Comments
The last thing I wanted to do this morning was get out of bed.
I know. That sounds horrible, right? I don’t mean it to. It’s just that, I had bad dreams all night (most of which involved Taylor and I being “broken up” like we were dating? And then realizing that my red hair had turned bright orange a la Carrot Top and DUH! That’s why he broke up with me!). And I knew that when I got out of bed, my “bad day” would begin. What a horrible way to face a day…to know it’s going to be “bad” from the beginning. I can be a cynic like that, and let’s be real, it doesn’t benefit anyone when I face a day with that attitude.
So anyway, I pulled my ass out of bed, fed Arlo, pumped, got Sully fed and changed, put Arlo down for a nap, got him BACK up, changed both boys again, fed Arlo again, and loaded us all up into the car for a trip to the doctor. All by 9:00AM. Today was Arlo’s two month well-baby visit, and Sully had to come with us. Taylor had some training to do today, which meant single parenting for me. I spent the whole ride to the doctor trying to decide how exactly I was going to manage. Was I going to load up all the babies into one stroller? Or wear Arlo? Or just keep Arlo in the infant seat and have Sully walk? What in the world would work? And how would I keep the doctor’s office patrons from thinking I was a horrible mother by allowing my toddler to run mad and my newborn to scream his little head off (yes, I ended this sentence with a preposition. I tried to re-word it, but I like that way this sounds. I never called myself a grammer goddess).
When we arrived, I pulled out my single stroller and my Maya Wrap, sucked it up, loaded both boys, and headed in with a brave face.
Two hours and six shots later, we left. All of us in one piece. Everyone still alive, and all tears wiped dry.
We had forgotten (I had forgotten) that Sully still had some shots to catch up on that he couldn’t get while I was pregnant, so I went ahead and squeezed him in to keep him up-to-date while we were there. The nurse suggested that I may not want two babies sad from shots in the same day, but I kindly reminded her that tears and crabbiness were nothing compared to having to load everyone else up and trying to get back to the doctor again. So both boys had shots today. Lovely.
But you know what? I did it. And? It wasn’t that bad. Sure, I left on the verge of tears because both boys were screaming, all snacks and bribes had been used up, and my boobs were shooting out milk like two water guns in response to all the chaos. BUT, I did it. I did it all alone, and I never would have even considered taking two kids under two to get shots at the same damn time before today.
That’s the crazy thing about motherhood. People complain that you lose sight of yourself when you have babies. And, I guess that is kind of true. I went from talking about beer pong and local bands pre-baby to talking about poop and spit up post-baby. My thoughts are often consumed by my sons and what they need. My finances go almost entirely towards my children and our household, and there is very little left over for me at the end of the day.
But it’s moments like these, where I tackle a task head on that previously would have made me want to vomit in my shoes, and where I succeed, that make me realize all over again how empowering motherhood can be. It pushes you beyond your boundaries, makes you pull your head out of your ass and consider someone(s) else for once, and it changes you in ways that are indescribable and life altering.
And yes, even an innocent trip to the doctor can be life altering when it makes you take on more than you thought you could and push through it despite not believing you are capable.
Today, I was Super Mom. I may even scrub the bathrooms and finish the laundry!
Or maybe not.
Tags: Arlo and Sully > Things that test me. > Two under two > When being a mama is tough
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11 Responses to “Surprising Empowerment.”
"I'm a twenty-five-year old mama to two little boys and married to the love of my life. I have a serious Diet Coke addiction and a tendency to overshare. My biggest dream is to write a book. A good book that tons of people buy and relate to and love. In the mean time, this is the story of us as we flounder through raising our wild, little boys, moving a million times, and buying and renovating our 1968 Ranch home."
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October 6th, 2011 @ 2:00 pm
Motherhood is very Impowering! At least, to me it is. We’re tough cookies!! We pack up two ( or however many ) kids, and lets face it, even with just ONE, we’re out numbered. And we head out to scary places…like the Doc, Grocery store, POST OFFICE…ect. Places that seemed harmless enough BEFORE kids, now have ugly snakes comming out of their heads like Medusa. But, we Mommy up, put our poker faces on, and off we go. We do things that even Superman would hide from. But, once that horrible “first” time is over….it’s just like…psshh! That really wasn’t that bad! Then we come home ready for anything ‘chores’ may throw at us. Most of the time.
mrstrophywife Reply:
October 6th, 2011 at 4:51 pm
BAHAHA I love the vision of the post office sprouting snakes from it’s roof. SO true!!!
October 6th, 2011 @ 2:03 pm
God never hands us more than we can handle
mrstrophywife Reply:
October 6th, 2011 at 4:51 pm
Amen.
October 6th, 2011 @ 2:10 pm
Good job you!! It’s the little things that make you feel better about your day sometimes!!
mrstrophywife Reply:
October 6th, 2011 at 4:51 pm
You’ll be in my shoes soooon!
October 6th, 2011 @ 2:55 pm
Doing things at the last minute like that is really what kept me going forward. I, too, would DREAD going places with all 3 kids and I would have anxiety starting the day before. (okay, so maybe it was a few days before, but there’s no need to be completely accurate on time when one’s sanity (or insanity) is involved) So, sometimes I would just randomly stop to do ____ or _____ when I didn’t have much time to think about it and get super anxious. Yes, everytime I did that it was A. pretty much THAT bad and B. I swore I would never, EVER do it again, but I always did. And, guess what? I’m still alive to write about it. Never said I was still sane though. Those days are clearly behind me.
mrstrophywife Reply:
October 6th, 2011 at 4:58 pm
Hahahah, yes, I suppose we live through it! And the anticipation does suck. I think it makes the whole experience harder, for sure!
October 6th, 2011 @ 3:22 pm
Way to go Sally! I remember the first time I had to take my 2 under 2 to the doctor by myself and I was terrified. Now, even though they are still 2 under 2, they are 23 months and 10 months and it’s much easier. I think back to when I was a momma of one, and I would think how hard it was to go anywhere with a baby, because I wasn’t used to it. Then I was a momma of 2, and leaving the house with both kids seemed impossible. Now, I pop those kids in the car and we go like there’s nothing to it. I actually thought about you this morning (I know that might be weird because I don’t know you, I just read your blog), but my two babies were playing together and I could hear their laughter echoing through the house and I thought “wait until she hears that for the first time, her two babies playing together and laughing”. Being a momma to 2 under 2, or in general, is overwhelming, but hearing the playful innocent laughter of my son and daughter makes every single challenge totally worth it.
mrstrophywife Reply:
October 6th, 2011 at 4:59 pm
Is it ridiculous that your comment kind of made me tear up? Because I cannot WAIT until my kids are entertaining and loving each other that way. Oh, so sweet.
October 7th, 2011 @ 5:58 am
Oh, Brave One! You’ve always been able to handle whatever comes your way. Don’t you know that now?