Posted on | February 20, 2013 | 8 Comments
Tay and I are both religious, but probably not as devoted as we should be. I am Catholic. Catholicism is a part of my identity and a piece of me that will never change. I align with the church in almost all aspects (except a few things..particular the stance against gay marriage), and one of my heroes is the late Father David who was a huge part of my life growing up. Tay is Presbyterian by birth but considering converting to Catholicism. We were married in the Catholic church. We try to go to church most Sundays, but with work travel and company and such, we make excuses far too often. We are a work in progress, but a marriage built on faith.
My mother and I always joke about “Catholic Voodoo.” Of course, it’s not a real “thing,” but it’s our only explanation for dreams and premonitions we both occasionally have. We have dreams about relatives that have passed and “feelings” that tend to surface before something good or bad happens. When someone is struggling about something, we just know. We can read people like no one I know, and our first impressions are generally absolutely correct. We avoid psychics like the plague, but we have our own intuitive nature.
Which is why I feel the need to write about the weirdest thing that happened just a couple nights ago.
Tay and I usually go to bed at the same time, but I stay up and read or blog or play “Scramble with Friends” while he passes out almost immediately. Seeing as how he gets up at 5:00AM or before most days, this situation is no surprise. The other night, Tay was asleep while I was matching up the word, “waiter” on my current game. Let me tell you something; Tay has always been a sleep-talker. But usually, he makes no sense. He’ll sometimes leap out of bed only to realize he’s dreaming, but generally the words he says resemble something like, “Did the goldfish poop on the red?” So, I usually just pat his back and tell him to go the ‘eff to sleep. But in that moment, he sat up and asked, “Did you read 1 Corothians 10:13?”
I replied, “Honey, what are you talking about?”
He laid his head back down and sighed. “Oh, sorry. I was just dreaming.”
For reference, Taylor has never mentioned Bible passages in his sleep. And while we discuss religion every now and then, it’s incredibly rare that we would reference a passage even while awake. I was shaken by his words, and they have stuck with me for a few days. He doesn’t remember his dream, but he said that his only explanation was that maybe he was dreaming about an old Bible Study class.
If you’re not familiar, the passage reads:
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
If you’re not familiar with Biblical linguistics, temptation doesn’t necessarily always mean an enticement of sin. In the Bible, it can also be translated into a “trial or tribulation.” Any kind of mountain to climb or tragedy or problem put in your path. This excerpt is a passage that basically says that God will get you through any burden or trial and won’t lay more on you than you can handle. Comforting. But also a passage I’ve always struggled with for various reasons.
See…I don’t believe God puts us through bad things. I don’t believe he takes a child from a mother. I don’t believe he causes a Soldier to die. I don’t believe he is the reason behind car wrecks. I don’t believe he wants us to hurt. I don’t believe he lays any burdens on us. Maybe tests of patience and kindness. Maybe lessons of understanding and acceptance. But not pain. So this passage has always struck a nerve in me because I don’t believe our God is the God who would put someone through horrible sadness to test Faith. I’m not saying I don’t believe this passage, only that I’ve never been really sure how to take it. It’s one that has always rolled around in my mind without finding a real steady ground.
So where does that leave me? With God sending me a message to trust in him more? Or a random dream of Taylor’s? I’m not sure. But I can’t help but be touched by the words and left thinking over them…