The Military and Spouse “Entitlement.”
Posted on | February 6, 2013 | 17 Comments
I try to avoid political talk here because, you know, people get all crazy when someone brings up politics. I’ll keep this as unpolitical as possible. Let me also start with the fact that I understand that not everyone married to a Soldier appreciates being called an “Military Spouse,” because they are not married to the military but to the Soldier. I get that, though I think it’s splitting hairs. For the sake of not having to type, “person who is married to a Soldier,” in every sentence, I am referring to every spouse of a Soldier as a “Military Spouse” for this article.
Today, Leon Panetta, the Defense Secretary, made a recommendation to cap the Soldier’s raise next year at 1%. For those unaware, the raise this year was 1.7%, one of lowest raises in thirty-eight-years. Combined with the FICA increase, and most families saw a decrease in their pay or only a slight raise if the BAH in their area increased (ours did not). And really, I don’t think anyone is surprised. With a country in financial turmoil and cuts being made to many programs, we could have seen this coming a mile away. I’m not blaming anyone in particular. We have a government in place that cannot seem to get a budget that makes sense and will pull this country out of jeopardy. It is not just a President, a Congress, a Senate, etc. It is years of poor decisions making and inflated spending.
But what DOES surprise me is the reaction Soldiers and spouses get the minute they show any concern for the fact that this pay raise will not keep up with inflation and will actually result in a pay cut for many Soldiers due to taxes and the rising cost of living. I have seen the words “entitlement” and “lazy” thrown around like darts. I have seen spouses be accused of being uneducated, of not working hard enough, of being parasites to the system and not pulling their own weight.
And that?
That makes me absolutely livid. My skin crawls as I see people, and mainly other wives, look down on spouses who show concern about decreased pay, however small it may be. I want to scream at people when they suggest that these spouses have nothing better to do than bitch and complain. I want to shake my fists at the injustice of the fact that when a civilian shows concern about tax raises, about pay cuts and job losses, and about government making decisions that will affect their pay, it’s their civic duty to speak out. But when it comes from a Soldier or his family, we “knew what we were getting into and just take it.” These words come not just from civilians, but particularly from other wives married to Soldiers. And they are doing such a great disservice to themselves and their families by allowing the government to make decisions about their future and their livelihood without every questioning these decisions that are made. Today, I was told that I am worthless. That I must do nothing with my life to be concerned about this, and that if I want something done, I should go get a job, get an education, and get off the internet. Because I disagreed with someone on this issue, they assumed that they had me all figured out. And they could not have been more off-base.
Yes, this is just a proposal, which is exactly why we should speak out now. Yes, there are plenty of places money can be cut first. Yes, there are other options that should be considered before taking out of the Soldiers’ pockets. YES, our opinion is necessary! I understand that my husband has a job that is steady. But if you allow the government to make decisions on cuts and changes without voicing an opinion, the benefits we were promised when we decided to go the military route may not always exist. To talk down to people and tell them their voice doesn’t matter is unbelievably un-American. I’ve had enough of the women-haters. I’ve had enough of being told be be silent. I’ve had enough of being told I should be grateful, should accept whatever decisions are thrown my way, and deal with it. We live in a country where our voices matter. Where millions of men and women have died so that we have a voice, and yet, when our opinions differ from someone else’s, we are told to shut up.
I hope people will understand this concern. I hope they will take into account the sacrifices our Soldiers make. I hope they will recognize that saying things like, “Well then get another job,” Or “Go get an education,” makes them sound arrogant and ignorant. I hope they will realize that a vast majority of our service members come from modest backgrounds and join the military in order to find stability, to find a family, and to get an education some day. I hope they remember that, whether or not they agree with these wars, our men and women are still being sent overseas to serve. They are still leaving family behind, missing milestones, and eating Christmas dinners in the desert. I hope they will remember that looking down at other spouses and Soldiers because they choose to speak up over concerns does a disservice to everyone. And I hope, most of all, people will recognize that we are families, too. Families who are struggling in this economy just like everyone else. Families who want the best for our children. Families who move, who grow roots in a new place every few years, and who move again so that we can be where ever the country needs us. This isn’t about feeling entitled. This isn’t about feeling owed by anyone. This is about wanting a voice and a fairness and a promise delivered.
*If you’re concerned about this proposal, please be sure to inform your representatives. Thanks.
Comments
17 Responses to “The Military and Spouse “Entitlement.””











February 6th, 2013 @ 3:28 pm
Ouch – that’s a big 1%. I work under the government system, and haven’t received cost of living allowance (COLA) increase in years, and it’s been really hard on my paycheck. I can imagine how big a cut that is for your family. That sucks!
Sally Reply:
February 6th, 2013 at 3:29 pm
I hate that for you, too, Caitlin! And honestly, it’s not the pay raise cap that gripes me so much as the reaction of anger that people have given towards anyone concerned about the pay cap. As if we have no voice! THAT gets me.
February 6th, 2013 @ 3:40 pm
I understand why you are upset about the capped raise. BUT, I don’t think that members of the military are in a special class that deserves raises, or even cost of living adjustments every year, when others are going without these things. It’s not that I don’t respect the sacrifice that members of the military (and their families) make for the rest of us. BUT, I think that compensation generally should compensate for that (and yes, I think probably military salaries should be higher to start with because of these sacrifices). What I am responding to is the outcry over capping an annual raise — not to compensation issues generally.
I work for a state government, and we have not had a raise (even a cost of living adjustment) since 2007. So when it comes to raises, I think we are probably all due for one, but I also think that we are all in the same boat, and that no one is entitled to one. I work hard to support my family, too, and I am the primary breadwinner, and the buying power of my salary today is not what it was in 2007. Additionally, the state I work for has mandated that a higher percentage of my salary be allocated for the state retirement system — effectively giving me a pay cut. Would I like a pay raise? Absolutely. And at this point, I would be thrilled if someone told me that I was getting a one percent raise.
I hope this doesn’t come across as rude, because that’s not the intent at all. And I certainly don’t think that military members (or their families) are lazy or should get a new job. I just don’t have a lot of sympathy for not getting more than a 1% raise, when a lot of local, state, and federal employees around the country are also going without.
Sally Reply:
February 6th, 2013 at 3:43 pm
I understand where you’re coming from…though I disagree. Our Soldier deploy to combat zones and put their life on the lines. I think something should be said for that…though, like I said before, my biggest issue is not so much the salary cap, but the reaction that people give when service members and their families say anything about anything.
February 6th, 2013 @ 3:42 pm
I was going to say that when I was a secretary that I got a 3% raise when others got less, but considering I made less than $8 an hour (the students made nearly that much) it still wasn’t a lot. Maybe a quarter an hour. Others in this situation have the same deal. No COL increases at all. I’m VERY thankful that although my husband served in the military, that he is done and has a nice job (knock wood) that he loves, a pension, a 401k, COL increases, and adjusted increases for ‘how much everyone else makes’. I shit you not, and it ROCKS. I can’t imagine being stuck in your situation (chosen or not, it still sucks) and then to have people say, ‘eh, you’re just stupid’ basically. Obviously those people have never held a job that makes less than $8 an hour, and are upper class elite, because everyone else at some point or another, has HAD these issues. Has had to, say, drive to visit family to get something to eat, because they have gas in the tank, but their bank account is empty. OMG how awful is that? But we’ve been there. Just recently, even with a good job, medical issues and accidents have practically ground our personal budget to a standstill. Holding our breath that the paycheck hits the bank before the bills do. Tons of people, esp. in this economy have that feeling. It is NOT a good one. I’m glad you’re telling those self-righteous snobs to get off their high horse. They’ve probably never worked for a living. Oh and bless their hearts.
Sally Reply:
February 6th, 2013 at 3:47 pm
Luckily, we are not in a position where this will make or break us. But many of the newly enlisted Soldiers and their families are going to struggle greatly as COL rises and their paychecks decrease.
And thanks for the support, love!
February 6th, 2013 @ 3:51 pm
As much as it hurts, it is unsustainable. Teachers have been frozen for years with no raise. BAH being non-taxable helps a lot. Many families qualify for WIC and even food stamps. Some career fields even see resigning bonuses plus hazard and separation pay while deployed. These are not things that the civilian world sees.
Sally Reply:
February 6th, 2013 at 3:56 pm
I agree that something has to give. But how does it make sense that we have troops below the poverty level and having to use government funds through WIC and Food stamps? Clearly, money needs to be allocated better. I’m not diplomat, and I’m not pretending to know the answers, but cutting pay just to have troops receive government assistance doesn’t seem to be a great answer.
Separation pay and separation pay are certainly things we are all grateful for when we are already under the stress of being apart and having our husband’s/wives defuse bombs. I do not deny that! That’s for sure.
February 6th, 2013 @ 4:30 pm
I love that you bring this up because it really is SO important that there be meaningful conversation when you talk about reducing or affecting ANYONE’s entitled benefit. Of COURSE it affects families – this is their livelihood! (and why is “entitlement” a bad word – you do hard work you deserve what you are “entitled” to. end of story.)
This is not unique to the military, as I’m sure you know. I work for local government and at every pass people are clamouring for our pensions, our benefits, and our pay. They say WE are the reason for the economic downturn. Seriously? have you seen my paycheck? Like a previous commentor we have not had a COLA increase for a number of years – and I’m among the lucky ones who still have jobs and have not yet faced straight pay cuts.
You absolutely should speak up and out! The government is your family’s employer, and as such you should have every right and opportunity to stand up for what you need for your family. Just as every worker should have the right to stand up, form a union, and protect his or her interests as well. No one should have to roll over and take what an employer offers without question.
Good for you!
(sorry this is so long…)
Sally Reply:
February 6th, 2013 at 5:00 pm
You’re right, Jen! And you know, I was thinking about reading from R’s Mom that many governmental workers hadn’t received any sort of increase since 2007, and WHY is no one talking about that?! How is it okay that Congress gets raises basically whenever they choose, but the every day folks are suffering? We can’t just allow these things to happen, shrug our shoulders, and call it a day.
February 6th, 2013 @ 5:07 pm
S- people are not talking about why gov’t employees aren’t getting raises because they’re too busy silencing our unions (see Wisconsin, for example) so we can’t raise the issue. It’s a sad state of affairs at the moment. As people have said, something needs to give – and no one wants to be the one to give it.
I don’t have the solution, I’m just trying to feed my boys and keep a roof over their heads, you know? Same as you.
February 6th, 2013 @ 5:16 pm
Caitlin and my Husband are in the same boat. No cost of living increase in years. It’s been frustrating that congress seems to think about 1% here or 2% there as a way to balance the budget but there are families who count on paychecks on the receiving end of shaving down the budget.
It has been frustrating for us as well!!
February 6th, 2013 @ 5:29 pm
OMG! I too avoid political arguments but this budget issue makes my blood boil! My husband has been on several deployments and we live moderately and yet people think that our concern about our income is nonsense. Anyone in their right mind would/should be concerned if shown these falling numbers. Civilian, military, whatever a pay cut is a problem to most people. Insulting eachother is not necessary! I think you are right on with this post!!
February 6th, 2013 @ 10:02 pm
First of all, I think the tone of the discussion has remained unusually respectful, you usually draw the crazies like a moth to a flame
I think you are absolutely entitled to have an opinion on the state of your husband’s pay check (and all military spouses). I’ve been frozen myself for years without a contract.
February 7th, 2013 @ 11:02 am
First, I agree. If you don’t like your situation, you absolutely have a right to lobby for something different. It is not entitlement. It is protecting your family and your income.
As both a military spouse and a woman working in the private sector, I want to offer a slightly different perspective in terms of some of the arguments people put out there.
For all those people who say “I’ve NEVER gotten a COL increase in the history of my career, so why should the military?” I have a slightly different rebuttal. As a civilian (gov’t or private sector) hard work can result in a promotion at any time. You can apply for jobs and continue to “work your way up the ladder” in terms of pay. So while you may not see a COL increase, you have the opportunity to earn more.
I know some jobs (like teaching) do not have promotions. However, there is the opportunity to go into administration. Or work for a private school that might pay more. Or go back to school and become a professor.
However, in the military, no matter how hard you work, there is a promotion schedule. And sometimes, your time in a position can be 4-5 years (or longer). So for 5 years, a soldier should be expected to have little to no pay increase? Not even have the opportunity for one? For those of you that say “military getting a COL increase when I don’t is ‘unfair’”, at least you have the opportunity to work hard and get promoted. Those pay increases are generally ALOT more than COL.
For everyone that says “if you husband doesn’t like it, tell him to get out.” that argument doesn’t quite work for me. Generally speaking, almost anyone can find a job with another employer that will be similar to what they currently do. You have CHOICES when it comes to who you work for. If you don’t like your boss, you can go work for someone else. Don’t like your pay? See if you can find someone else who will pay you more!
For the military, that isn’t an option. You want to be a US soldier? You can work for the Air Force, the Navy or the Army. And really… they are all part of the same organization so trying to “switch” between them is not going to solve anything.
My point is this, as a civilian, there are choices and opportunities that do not exist for soldiers. Opportunities for hard work to be rewarded with a promotion. And choices as to who you work for. And those things impact your pay. Soldiers do NOT get those choices. It’s either “be in the US military” or “do not be a soldier.” And with limited choices, there is a limited ability impact their pay. So asking for a COLA increase that will cover inflation? I don’t think that is unreasonable.
Again, not trying to disrespect anyone, just trying to offer a different perspective to the argument.
February 8th, 2013 @ 11:24 am
Cyn, just so you know, federal employees have the same pay rules that the military does. They are grade, 7, 9, 11 step 1,2,3,4,5 etc. they’re raises and promotion opportunities come at the exact same intervals that military does. They have not received a COLA since 2007? Maybe 2008?
Just FYI.
February 19th, 2013 @ 10:42 am
Emily,
I agree/disagree with your statement.
I agree that the gov’t does have “scheduled” promotions. Again, regardless of if you deserve it or not.
However, my point somewhat stands with the idea that if you choose to look for another opportunity within government service, you can get a pay grade increase.
My husband works with the Corps of Engineers. He is one of 5 military personnel in an office of over 300 GSEs.
He has gone through the hiring process and there are strict rules that state that if a current employee of the corps applies, they get precedence over any non GSE.
Many of the people applying are using this as one way to get a pay increase as they tend to move up a grade (sometimes 2) if they get the position.
So while promotions may be a little more military-esque… you can still apply for and be given a position that is a higher pay grade. And that does happen with some frequency in government positions. Which, in my mind, is a form of promotion.
Yes, I know there are still some “rules” around this. But my husband has also witnessed those rules broken more than a time or two. So unless the C of E is some sort of unique government institution that managed to avoid the rigidity of many of the rules, I imagine this occurs in other branches as well.
Not trying to beat a dead horse, but this is just my experience and my perspective on this argument.